seeing as though i have given the world 12 whole hours to ingest my first blog, i assume that a number of questions have come up in the minds of the reeds (ooo, that's got a nice ring). i've created an FAQ from inquiries which i assume, had you guys not been too busy to write in, or read the post, would be--well--frequently asked:
Q: "is mike________*__" your real name?
A: almost! i use the underscore & asterisk after my real first name for no apparent reason. it's a nifty moniker, i feel.
Q: what's with the blog's name?
A: back when i was voted "the most popular kid in any high school, ever," i would daydream about being in a sketch comedy troupe. the name i used in my daydream was, you guessed it, "tiny damaged notions"--which i took from a poster i had in my room at the time. now that i have a sketch comedy troupe with a name i equally love ("the square foot"! so nice), i decided to use TDN for this blog.
Q: what's with the lower-case?
A: while typing, i often forget to capitalize words. i'm not against capitalization (you'll notice when i use an acronym, such as TDN, i capitalize for clarity), but i decided since i'd forget more often than i would remember to hit that super-sly shift key, i'd just oust it most of the time.
Q: tell me a little about yourself...
A: no! plus, that's not a question--it's a command (how dare you command something of me!). ultra-plus, that's an improper use of ellipses. here's a quick definition from the ever-so-useful dictionary.com:
The omission of a word or phrase necessary for a complete syntactical construction but not necessary for understanding.eat that biographical tidbit, jerks!
(dictionary.com, "http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ellipses")
that'll be all for the Q&A portion. if any of you real people have a question, post it in a comment! i'll discuss it with not only you, but with the excessively large audience which my blog has.
speaking of comments, i have a few which pertain to the new yahoo! mail system, "yahoo! mail beta," which i signed up for. check out the layout given to me each time i log in:
the notification that i have no new messages is no more of a shock than yahoo!'s broken-linked advertisement. sad as it may be, we're left to imagine both what my friends may be aching to tell me, and what kind of love is in store for me, only a click away, thanks a specific online dating service (dare i say, TRUE LOVE!!!).
nerd-interjection: that link's as broken as time walk! nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
now, here's the useful little yahoo!-beta man. he's informing me that i can get news delivered straight to my mailbox--just like in real life! he even offers to show me how it works.
i'm assuming that link is also broken, as i need to look no further than my mail's "home page" setting to get important news updates.
like it or not, i'm forced to read yahoo's news--or at least give it a cursory glance--before i click off the "home page" and onto my inbox. it's sorta like when you go to the doctor: logging into yahoo! mail is like the initial waiting room. once my password is accepted, nurse HTTP walks me into the cold, white room where i wait for New Mail, M.D.--and this extra clicking of my inbox is that uncomfortable wait while you mentally go over the symptoms you're about to give the doctor.
"so, i woke up tuesday with a sore throat, and then my arm started hurting towards the night. can i be tested for herpes?"
apparently iran is expanding their nuke program. hey, speaking of ellipses, check out those ones at the bottom! properly used, and leaving us, as most news attempts to do, in fear of the cliffhanger: "sending a defiant message??!? to whom?!"
my guess is jessica alba, since she appears in the opposite corner:
celebs in my inbox?!?!! yahoo! must have been monitoring my dreams if they know about my fantasy of building a giant mailbox-shaped home where jessica alba and i can raise our children.
oh, and we'd make it nuke-proof too. that way the news can't scare our beautiful offspring.
that's all from this end. thanks, reeds.
1 comment:
like i said, you and jessica alba living in a nuke-proof mailbox is ALMOST as entertaining as sex w/jesus.
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