a special reed named kristen showed me this interesting article yesterday:
i know what you're thinking: that's not an article--those look like fuzzy testicles in a plastic cup.erotic as that may sound, i'm afraid you're wrong in the tastiest way possible:
finally someone took the initiative to deep fry coca-cola, put more coca-cola on top, and top that with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry. it's america x 10 + a big cup of kick-ass.unfortunately, in this case that equation will end with "= vomiting."
the cherry on top almost makes it sound innocent, as if it were 1954 and i were getting my date one of these at the malt shop.
"yeah, and bring us an order of 'balls of gross,' please. with two cherries on top."
they should have just dipped more coca-cola in a deep fryer, and poured grenadine on it. maybe that's why they're premiering it in fairs--so some genius can give the unhealthy bastards who made this item that lovely tip before they mass produce it.
also, check the bottom of that article: you can rate the picture. out of 653 votes, it came up average. this means that the general consensus of yahoo! viewers find deep fried balls of coca-cola a pretty normal thing.
i know there are at least two reeds out there who are aspiring dietitians, so give me your opinion via comment!
that latest ramble may have been at least partially induced by my current drowsy state. going to bed late and waking up early is all a part of "college life" i'm afraid--even though i don't dorm, nor did my current lack-of-sleep have anything to do with academia. however, i'd still like to blame it if possible.
a study done by the naughtily titled daily gamecock,
whose logo of a red flaming bird dry-humping a capital "G" in no way dilutes the credentials of the publication, unearthed this little factoid:Out of the 24 hours in the day, most college students report they only spend six sleeping...Although poor sleep habits are normal among college students, many fear this will be detrimental in the future. Doctors say these habits can lead to depression, poor performance in school, stress or insomnia. College students, on the other hand, say poor sleep habits are just another part of college life.
(the daily gamecock, "http://www.dailygamecock.com/home/index.cfm?event=displayArticle&ustory_id=1f0ef1db-404b-4f28-bd14-e7ed9fb081e1")
depression, poor performance, stress, and insomnia? pssshhhh. nothing defines "college life" quite as well as hating yourself for failing your classes after you stayed up all night studying for them. those doctors wouldn't know what college was if it personally bought them all hemp necklaces, dave matthews tickets, and a couple kegs of beer.
college did that for me, and that's why i hate college.
"when 'crash' came on, i was on like my eighth corona so i didn't even realize bret stole my visor and threw it in the middle of the quad!"
that's all for this time, reeds. remember to deep-fry your sleepless sorrow to make it yumtastic!
