donald vs. rosie in a 50th post extravaganza!

happy 50th post, reeds!

all you dedicated donnies and donnettes who have either been reading since day 1, or caught up on what you missed, have now read 50 rambles by yours truly.

ahh, the memories. together we've been through so much. and there's so much more to go!

with that said, i bring you post #50, this momentous thursday, december 21st, installment of tiny damaged notions!

[millions of cheering fans can be heard]

record-reed left me a comment today:

Uhh, Mike, I think you're falling for a Simpsons-esque "free boat" trick here. You're walking right into a trap laid by the police to catch criminals while in possession of yours and all your friends' firearms; the cops are going to take you down for being the vile, gun-running survivalist you are.

if you don't know what "'free boat' trick" he was referring to, shame on you!

and, mr. know-it-all, i highly doubt the police would care how i acquired so many firearms, or why so many of them are not even legal to own. i'm sure i'll get the $300 and free candy-cane for each one, no questions asked. so quit stalling and give me your guns!

but wait! that's not all. record-reed continued:

By the way, I tried to buy some Christmas presents with that "Confederated States of Goldence" money you gave me and they said it wasn't valid tender... yet.

don't worry, reeds. the "confederated states of goldence" currency that i distributed to you all is legal tender. however, it is currently only legal tender in my bedroom, which is the capitol of the "confederated states of goldence." once i win the presidency in 2008, change the name of the country, and expand the country throughout the whole world, you'll have no problem purchasing "mike-day" gifts for people.

and by people, i mean, obviously, me.

the name of my country, i'm sure, raises some questions. questions such as, "hey, what's with the name of your country? isn't your last named spelled with an 's'?"

to answer: yes, my last name is spelled g-o-l-d-e-n-s-e. the name of my country has a "c" in place of that "s" because i'm not an egotistical maniac, ok? maybe the pronunciation of the country's name is a play on "golden sea," rather than that of my last name, which is just "gold dense."

any further questions about this matter, and your dedication towards the confederacy will be put in question.

with that out of the way, we move towards entertainment news--the more popular, yet less important little brother of the regular news.

rosie o'donnell and donald trump are in a fight!

that's right. it all started on the view--where everything important begins--when rosie o'donnell
badmouthed trump's decision to keep the multi-talented coke-snorting, alcohol-addicted miss USA around (remember, we spoke about that yesterday).

donald trump,
seen here sticking a toothpick into his brown & white tongue, fired back with his own video, which subtly insinuates that he didn't like rosie's rant so much.

TMZ.com, everyone's favorite paparazzi-pusher, has a whole mess of videos up pertaining to this here brawl we got goin' on.

both sides seem to be debating with eloquence rivaling cicero.

trump: Rosie O'Donnell is disgusting, both inside and out...You take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a truck driver.
(E! News, "http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=a138e89e-c246-4046-9e3d-0913e020640d&page=1")

rosie: Donald, sit and spin, my friend
(E! News, "http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=a138e89e-c246-4046-9e3d-0913e020640d&page=1")

wow. good stuff.

while donald's attack may seem mean spirited, rosie o'donnell is no stranger to danger herself:

The loose-lipped View host has issued something of an apology for repeatedly using the phrase "ching chong" while speaking in mock Chinese tones last week, saying that she "never intended to hurt anyone"...[she also said] "So apparently 'ching-chong,' unbeknownst to me, is a very offensive way to make fun, quote unquote, or mock, Asian accents. Some people have told me it's as bad as the N-word. I was like, really? I didn't know that."
(E! News, "http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=b33c7760-8170-4fca-83b3-ecf82ebb11d0&entry=index")

i guess she'll need to throw away her whole "lucky me chinaman" routine. watch out, rosie, your turn-of-the-century vaudevillian minstrel act may be next in line on the chopping-block.

so, reeds, check out all the videos, and make your own opinion. or, better yet, start a betting pool on who will win the impending court case! trump's got the money, rosie's got the fans. this could be the big battle of '07.

before i bid you farewell, check this out:
yahoo! is claiming i owe THEM mail.

well, tough luck, yahoo! i ain't givin' up not one here mails o'mine!

thanks go out to yahoo! beta mail for the glitch, or material. however you look at it.

have a wonderful thursday, reeds! pick a fight with a billionaire tonight. go on, it's fun! the leader of the confederated states of goldence commands it.