we want snow! project stormfury, attack!

happy friday, reeds!

here's a couple pre-christmas wishes from yours truly:

snow for new york
a music box with an amazing song
the song "the world spins madly on" by the weepies to be loved by everyone
required calvin & hobbes reading time at work
the song "say yes" by elliott smith to be loved by everyone

(how can it not be?)

the woot-off to have something good, dammit!

now that that's out of the way, we can get on to your daily installment of tiny damaged notions!

so, with the news from brittany- and adam-reed-NH (that's new hampshire, since i know too many adams and that's where he lives) that snow was covering their town of plymouth, i decided to check the weather forecast for my small-town in long island:
notice the lack of snow which is making me quite envious of my friends to the north.

there's a high of 31º today, but then a high of 56º for next wednesday. what the hell is going on here?

there's only one option i can think of: someone is controlling the weather, and having a blast confusing us all with vast temperature changes.

this brings us to today's topic for wiki-licious friday: weather control!

(all excerpts below: "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weather_control")

that's right, weather control has a wikipedia page; and even more than that, it makes sure to notify us that,

Marvel Comics heroes Thor and Storm could control weather; the former because he is the Norse god of thunder, the latter because she is a mutant whose powers specifically center around weather control.

and some people still say wikipedia isn't an academic source?

just wait until THOR STRIKES YOU DOWN WITH MJOLNIR!
(that's his hammer)

so, back to weather control. after a brief historical account of american indian rain rituals, and notifying readers that finnish people "were believed by others to be able to control all weather,"
wikipedia goes on to tell us of the first weather controler:

the lightning rod!

wait, that's pretty boring. plus, i heard finnish people laugh at lightning rods for their meek attempt at weather control.

damn those sexy finns.

but wait, check this out:

Project Stormfury was an attempt to weaken tropical cyclones by flying aircraft into storms and seeding the eyewall with silver iodide

project stormfury?! that's amazing!

so pilots flew aircrafts into tropical storms and got to say they were working on project stormfury?

it's gonna be pretty tough to find a cooler job description.

as for the future of weather control, wikipedia even had something to say about that:

There are two factors which make weather control extremely difficult if not fundamentally unattainable. The first is the immense quantity of energy contained in the atmosphere. The second is its turbulence.

i think they forgot the third factor: the immense LAME rays coming from the weather-control committee.

i mean, come on. the atmosphere has more energy than us? i recall a little thing called the arms race which existed between the US and russia. we'll just do what we're good at doing as a country: threaten the atmosphere with atomic weaponry until it listens to us.

and as for turbulence, that's just the atmosphere's version of a hissy-fit. you tell it to stop its chaotic, stochastic property changes and quit being such a baby.

damn, i don't know why i'm not on this weather-control committee--if it even exists. apparently they're saying stuff here about how if we alter our weather, it may eventually make the planet uninhabitable by humans.

::sigh:: this is where mr. hawking's idea comes into play again, everyone. let's learn to control the weather here, use it and abuse it, then move on to planet number two!

i don't know why this is so hard to grasp. star trek got it right:

In the Star Trek universe, most advanced planets and colonies utilise [sic] weather control.

damn brits and their "z" to "s" switch!

or should i say, "zwitch"!

well, that's all i've got for today, reeds. once again we've learned that star trek contains all the hopes and dreams for the future that our current leaders are too chicken to try.

"uninhabitable by humans." psssh. please. just because regaining natural balance takes time doesn't mean we can't speed things up a little. after all, this is the country of fast food!

everyone go out and have a wonderful friday. and, if at all possible, try to whip up some snow for me.

thanks.