astronomical dunks! and a possible new segment!

R-E-E!
D-S!
R-E-E!
D-S!
go-go-go!

happy friday to everyone out there. prepare yourselves for another fun-size installment of tiny damaged notions!

today's another FGIO day in my office. sometimes, when enough guests come in, we get lunch catered. this is always a happy occurrence (and not just since the smell of food throughout the stale-air is intoxicating), because after the guests and important people stuff their face, us pawns get to attack.

keep your fingers crossed.

first order of business is thanking all you reeds for your comments. it makes me happy to see that you all enjoy this column. it's only been a week since it began, but much like a mother holding a newborn, i already feel a deep attachment to this.

in fact, i'd wager to say that equating TDN daily posts to nurturing and caring for a newborn child in no way over-exaggerates the importance of this blog.

nope.

and now, it's time for some excitement!

brian may, the guitarist for that ol' rock band queen,
shown here pointing towards the heavens, has recently co-authored a book on astronomy, titled Bang! The Complete History of the Universe.

according to the news source guardian unlimited, which has the same name as my dental insurance provider, may "abandoned doctoral studies in astronomy to play guitar with `70s rock legends Queen."

so next time someone tells you the solo in killer queen isn't astronomical, you slap them in the face with a copy of his book.

may also had an interesting take on his two pastimes:

I think there's a sort of purity about both of them...Because you can immerse yourself in thoughts of the universe, or in music, and you're really abstracted. You're a million miles away from all your worries and personal problems and the dust and smoke of where you are.
(guardian unlimited, "http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-6166735,00.html")

dynamite with a laser beam!

and we're on to something new.

like a photo hung with peanut butter, who knows if this will stick (nyuck, nyuck, nyuck), but we're gonna try it out today:

it's wiki-licious-friday!

today i'll dedicate a portion of this installment to researching something on wikipedia only. that means it's up to you reeds to give me a topic in advance that i can discuss on each friday's post. since i don't have a forum, just leave it in a comment--i read all your comments, and have a special place in my heart for each and every one.

it's true: i literally tattoo each comment onto my heart.

(ok, well. maybe that last part's not true)

my friend and fellow coworker adam-reed, who many of you may know as dr. jam, hit me up with today's topic:

charles barkley! (all information below: wikipedia.org, "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Barkley")
aka. sir charles, or the round mound of rebound.

sir charles's position on the court was power forward, which, although sounding like something a nerd may shout at an opponent in a video game, is a very credible position, i'm sure.

the round mound's legacy is for rebounds, as was expressed in this segment spooning redundancy: "Barkley came to league as a great rebounder, despite his lack of height. He compensated by being extremely tenacious for rebounds"

oooo, tenacious for rebounds! that explains why barkley threw 20-year-old jorge lugo through the plate-glass window of a bar back in 1997.

wait--no it doesn't. maybe he thought he was breaking the backboard in nba jam--a game which he was totally in!

then he went on to make this game:which brought a whole new idiom into the english language.

"dude, you still haven't asked sandy to the prom? shut up and jam already, bro!"

"johnson, we're gonna need you to shut up and jam out those progress reports."

"ted, you've been talking so long your toast is getting cold. shut up and jam!"

"i am a hooker. you have asked me for sex in exchange for money, but thus far we've just been sitting on this motel bed discussing fruit-flies. with your penis, i'm going to need you to shu..."

you get the idea.

oh yeah, and barkley also lost ten million dollars gambling, was the subject of much controversy, got into a few on-court fights, and said this line:

Responding to concerns that players may contract HIV by contact with Johnson, Barkley commented flippantly: 'We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.'

but that's neither here nor there.

well, i suppose that'll be all for today's post. start thinking up some ideas for next friday's post, reeds! have a great friday.

shut up and jam!