who's your mentor, and does she wear underwear?

hot diggity-damn, it's tuesday! it's november 28th! and, as one would rightfully assume, it's a new tiny damaged notions!

first order of business: i would like to address an issue that chontel-reed spoke about here, and gabby-reed brought to my attention in a non-linkable area: they say that TDN is not the fourth thing up on google!

well, they're right (gasp!), but only if you don't put quotation marks. i neglected to mention that i had put these little punctuation rascals around "tiny damaged notions" because i forgot that people search the web doing otherwise. rather than get into a debate about the advantages of this search style, i'll just label this folly as my mistake. so, in the future, if you've ever forgotten the link, be sure to add these guys: " "

i digress. onwards towards topical topic number two!

now that commercialization has forced the holiday season upon us already, it's time we all started thinking about what we want as gifts for the upcoming holidays we may celebrate.

at my age, practical things like socks and underwear isn't frowned upon, but rather appreciated. when i was a kid, i hated getting any form of clothing--i wanted toys. eventually, most of us mature and start buying our own toys, often looking towards a loved one, or mom and dad, for those practical things to stock up on.

some of us, however, always rebel against acquiring these items. an example is the recently divorced britney spears, who is protesting the whole "underwear idea" in a subtle, yet powerful way:

On Nov. 22, cameras caught Spears, the recently separated pop star and mother of two, in a leopard-print minidress so short it revealed her underwear. Two days later, Spears was photographed getting out of a car in a hiked-up miniskirt. This time, her underwear was nowhere to be found.
(abc news, "http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=2681885&page=1")

notice that it was on black friday--the commercial start of christmas--that spears decided to ditch the underwear.

she's got a classy way of protesting.

but for all the applause which she deserves for taking a stand slowly and without underwear, i for one just can't picture spears as a ringleader. who's chief of this operation?

[paris hilton's representative, elliott] Mintz says that the 24-year-old Spears "looks up to" the 25-year-old Paris and that she's "extremely grateful" that Paris has taken her under her wing.
(tmz.com, "http://www.tmz.com/2006/11/27/britney-paris-is-my-role-model/")

aha! i should have known!

the ringleader of this underwearless, flashing, cleavage-exposing, no-bra-wearing, lack-of-moral brigade is none other than time magazine's "smartest person to ever exist and which will ever exist," paris hilton!

now, normally this blog contains pictures. to keep TDN relatively clean though, i refrained from posting any. you guys can either search google (i almost used it as a verb!) yourselves, or use your imagination--but i'm not lying: they're really friends.

and what better person to be your role model? i don't see mahatma gandhi being given a key to las vegas, and a day named in his honor (what?)

and did anyone ever stop to think that maybe this dynamic duo of debauchery is just what america needs right now? i mean, for years lonely boys across this country have searched the internet for "britney spears naked" (both with and without quotations marks) and been given a fat slice of disappointment-pie with only badly photoshopped images. now that britney's on the paris hilton fast & easy (pun) track to success, you can get all the perverse images you want of her exiting a car with her genitalia as overexposed as her musical career.

so let's hear it for america's new elegant sweethearts!
(who ever said that leopard print is tacky?)

in another quick celeb blurb, guess what i found out thanks to thebosh.com?
jake gyllenhaal? DAMMIT! you reeds were supposed to use your powers of persuasion to show reese how awesome it would be to be with me!

i'll forgive you if you simply land me in the leading role of their new picture rendition. maybe then i can show her how chic and sexy i am.

alright reeds, get to making that happen. i'm off to do a bunch of crazy stuff like eat and shop for a tie (living it up!). have a fantastic tuesday night, everyone! and remember that when exiting TDN, underwear is optional.