good morning, reeds! it's monday, november 27th, and welcome to your long overdue installment of tiny damaged notions!
so, let me explain a bit:
i love this blog. it's a lot of fun for me to do, and i appreciate all the love it gets from everyone. sometimes, however, i'll have a busy day, or a couple packed-out days in a row, and then my posting becomes, well, irregular. as you've seen, sometimes i post late, or don't post much (or, in the case of this weekend, at all).
the reason is that this little blog takes a good long while to prepare. i know its sexy ultra-readable format would probably make it seem as though these babies flow directly out of me stream-of-consciousness style, but they, in fact, take a good 2-3 hours each. maybe that's just me being edit-happy, or over-enthusiastic about the finished product, but either way it's usually a process i love being a part of.
friday's post was short, and it was supposed to be a part I. i'll save part II for this friday since i never ended up posting this weekend. i've been debating weekend posts. they may become occasional, or perhaps not exist at all. this weekend, i can say, that i probably won't be able to post. it seems most of you reeds enjoy this during the week (although a few had asked me where the posts were yesterday), so i don't think this should be that much of a loss. although, i know TDN makes up a good portion of your life, so any loss is a substantial one!
ok? well, i'm glad that's all settled. now without further ado: let's talk about crap!
so, i know most of you were probably so distraught from the lack of tiny damaged notions in your life, that you probably didn't even notice it was ::drumroll:: ::cue evil sounding orchestral hits:: the busiest shopping weekend of the year!!!
i've got news from the source with the biggest peacock:
Millions of Americans hit the shops over the weekend, spending more than last year, as the Christmas rush kicked off after Thanksgiving, but a fall in sales at Wal-Mart raised concerns about the strength of retail.hmmmm. so americans spent more money shopping this year, but since wal-mart didn't have strong sales, that means we should question retail?
(msnbc, "http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15918962/")
yes! of course it means we should question retail! wal-mart's november sales were down by 0.1% on the same month last year!
wow, 0.1% down. that's like winning $100 but losing a dime. i know i'd be pissed.
did someone say "ham"?
no, no one sa...
well, honeybakedfoods inc. is recalling a lot of potentially tainted ham.
"tainted with what?"
listeria: which can cause nausea, headaches, diarrhea, and fever. not to be confused with its vocab-cousin "hysteria," which can cause dance fever, and a diarrhea of good times.
honeybakedfoods inc. wants you gumshoes to be on the lookout for the following codes:
Ham codes - 6261 to 6310 (including all numbers in between)deli-meat has codes?
Glazed Turkey Breast codes - 6248 to 6258 (including all numbers in between)
anyways, getting back to wal-mart, the american family association (AFA) had decided to boycott wal-mart due to the company's "aggressively pro-homosexual agenda."
aggressively pro-homosexual agenda? that would explain their odd application:
riight. i was wondering what that was all about when i applied to be one of their drones.apparently, the AFA not only holds the loving opinion that homosexuality is evil, but they claim that the 0.1% drop in sales was their doing:
Could this be a result of the threatened boycott of Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club (which is owned by Wal-Mart) stores by hundreds of thousands of Christians mobilized by the American Family Association...Apparently so. After the boycott announcement went out, even before the date of the planned boycott, sales dropped enough for Wal-Mart to reverse its Pro-Homosexual position...In response, the AFA withdrew its request for a boycott."reverse its pro-homosexual position."
(webcommentary.com, "http://www.webcommentary.com/asp/ShowArticle.asp?id=barrettt&date=061127")
why, that sounds dirty, AFA.
what they were referring to that stopped their massive organization from causing wal-mart to lose more dimes was an official statement wal-mart made in regards to their aggressive pro-gay agenda:
Wal-Mart will not make corporate contributions to support or oppose highly controversial issues unless they directly relate to our ability to serve our customers.this means that wal-mart won't sell anything pro-gay (unless there is a large percentage of homosexual shoppers in a specific area where the AFA doesn't dare to go).
(walmartfacts.com, "http://www.walmartfacts.com/articles/4617.aspx")
wal-mart also went on to say that they don't have a stance on gay marriage, but they value diversity amongst their employees, and are against discrimination everywhere.
way to cover all your bases, wal-mart. you're like a victorian woman--insomuch as we're barely able to tell what you look like beneath your thick, protective layers of corporate bullshit.
good luck with that 0.1% loss. try not to mortgage park-place yet. i think "go" is right around the corner.
well, i'm spent. all you reeds have a wonderful monday! go out and bust some gates, black friday style:
2 comments:
2-3 Hours?! What kind of loser has that kind of time?! HAHA!
Oh, Right.
i was wondering why i had such a shitty weekend -- clearly tdn withdrawal.
wal-mart hiring policy has always been uber-progressive. e.g. you will find yourself wandering in the back by "layaway", thinking about all the things you can lay-away, and before you know it, you will have stumbled into a training session, and then they think that you are supposed to be there, they give you your own cash register, and then they start paying you until you quit two weeks later.
it was probably the best-worst [or borst] first job of my life that i didn't even want.
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