TDN: now with more trans fat!

oh, why hello, reeds. i didn't even see you browse in.

welcome to this monday's installment of tiny damaged notions: the culinary blog that brings you the best foods in the world!

today's delicious masterpiece: chicken-fried steak ice cream!
according to josh from dethroner.com, "where every man is king":

Not just chicken fried steak a la mode, but chicken fried steak covered with a scoop of ice cream made from the schmutz from a deglazed pan in which the steak was cooked. It was, surprisingly, awful.
(dethroner.com, "http://dethroner.com/index.php/2006/11/11/chicken-fried-steak-ice-cream/")

awful? call me "old-fashioned," but i can't imagine that a less desirable cut of steak which was submerged in batter, fried in lard, and topped off with a gravy-based "ice cream" would taste awful.

(sarah-reed, please tell don't make me eat this too. i beg of you!)

in more artery-clogging news, the new york daily news reports that mcdonalds, home of the bacon float,
will be cutting out the trans fat from its foods in europe. but don't you worry, my fellow americans, we won't be having any frequency decreases in our coronary heart disease statitics--we're keeping the fat in.

according to mcdonald's vice president, catherine adams:

Our European business was able to identify an oil blend that met customer taste expectations.
(new york daily news, "http://www.nydailynews.com/news/wn_report/story/469551p-395201c.html")

i guess in europe, their taste expectations don't solely include "greasy, fatty, heart-attack-givin' eats!" but this is america, naysayers; so before you go cry me a river about how this is just another reason we have an obesity problem in our country, need i remind you of our great nation's food pyramid?
ok, so you've got your trans fat up top--where it belongs. then you've got your "dinner group," consisting of chicken-fried steak ice cream and baseball's best burger (remember, that's a bacon cheeseburger served inside a donut). underneath that you've got your coke balls, and other coke-syrup-based desserts. and finally, on the bottom you've got your "healthy things," like fish, and those sides that come with your chicken-fried steak ice cream.

luckily, fish will be gone by 2048; but if we try really hard, reeds, we can eliminate all vegetables even sooner--eventually leaving our life expectancy at the tasty 15 year mark. that means they'll have to lower the legal age for alcohol consumption to compensate. hey, my grandkids can get drunk at 8!

i always felt responsible enough to drink alcohol by 3rd grade.

well, i've got a lot of letters to write--and i'm not even making that up. so you reeds have yourselves a wonderful monday. remember to up the trans fat whenever you can. mickey d's style.