good news, ishmael: christmas is cancelled!

happy tuesday to all you reeds out there, and welcome to today's installment of tiny damaged notions!

do you know what today is? it's november 14th, or moby-dick day!

that's right all you fiction lovers, it was a mere 155 years ago that herman melville kicked the literary world in the balls with his giant epic about a crazy one-legged captain who is maniacally searching for an albino whale. here's an artist's depiction of that moment done in haste:
with a beard like that, how could he not have finely toned legs?

the book is narrated by ishmael, and contains many hotly debated themes including religious tolerance and intolerance, homosexuality, and, the juiciest one of them all, whaling. all the ins and outs of whaling can be found in this feels-too-long-by-page-12 novel; so, if anyone out there is curious as to what life as a whaler in the 19th century must have been like, pick this sucker up.

here's an example of the groundbreaking ideologies presented in ol' MD:

[A]ll evil, to crazy Ahab, were visibly personified and made practically assailable in Moby Dick.
(moby dick, chapter 41)

and isn't that just so true? don't we all have our own personal moby dick's that we claim are responsible for all evil in the world?

for instance, i blame all that is good for everything that is evil in the world. reason being is that if good did not exist, evil would not either. while i understand that the balance between the two is necessary, if i must scapegoat anything, it's going to be good, for evil can be said to be a side-effect of this; much like how good can be said to be a side-effect of evil. it can be looked at from either way. it is circular, and a universal constant.

but that's just me. in scarborough, england, for example, they blame christmas. or at least that's what i assume after reading this headline:
wow. those people need to kick back with a bacon float and settle down a bit.

apparently, about 10,000 visitors came to scarborough's annual christmas-tree-lighting ceremony last year, and fire officials say only 2,000 can safely attend; so instead of potentially facing a compensation claim if someone gets injured, officials have just decided to trash the event altogether.

makes sense. my professors often cancel class in fear that the room will breach its maximum occupancy. so rather than turning students away from the learning experience, they just give up, and send out an e-mail stating it won't be meeting that day

(i hope my german professor reads this. sounds like a good idea, ja, herr bloomer?).

penny marsden, a local shopkeeper with a daredevil attitude, expressed her thoughts on the subject:

This is a joyous occasion when children come out to enjoy the start of Christmas - and we are going to rob them of it.
(ananova.com, "http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2076181.html?menu=")

nothing like robbing children, i always say. santa gives them all the good stuff!

and besides, they can enjoy christmas safely from their school seats.

well, enough of that that holiday topic. let's get down to business:

record-reed informed me he wasn't sure what "wiki-licious friday" was all about. so, i'll give everyone a breakdown:

each friday i will spend a portion of the TDN post discussing a theme that i researched solely on wikipedia.com, the now-anyone-can-be-a-scholar encyclopedia. the topic can be anything at all (as long as it has a wikipedia page), but it's up to you reeds to give me a topic! you can post an idea as a comment on any TDN installment. remember, it's tuesday, so you only have 3 days! get to posting!

now, unless i get that e-mail about occupancy fears canceling class, i have to be leaving now to drive on down to my university. all your reeds have a wonderful tuesday; remember to post your wiki-ideas, and be sure to ruin christmas for any younger siblings or relatives.

TDN, out!